Partners

I completely agree. It seems in my time investigating the scene I've found many that think that a submissive has less value. In play there may be humiliation, there may be torture and cruel words and the sub maybe find him/herself being disrespected but that is only in play. In the real world there has to be a deep respect for one another.
Once I told a man who believed a sub should be a push over, someone submissive and passive in all regards, that there is no point in having a partner like that. Where is the conquest? Where is the challenge? Why have a partner who does not respect him/herself? He seemed to think that that sort of thing didn't matter. It shocked me. He seemed to care nothing for his partners. They were only things. Where is the beauty in that? What's arousing about that? The sexy part of play is the power exchange. For power exchange to occur the person you are playing with has to have some in the first place. In order to have personal power that person has to value him/herself. I couldn't understand how he didn't care about that. I can't understand how people play and have no regard for those they play with. It's gross.